What does cancer do to a victim and family ?

"You have cancer" This words are very tragic to the victim and family members. Most of us understand that late-stage Cancer can be life threatening. The word feels like a death sentence. Why does Cancer do that? Perhaps it is because

• most often, it does not have any outward symptoms until it is too late,
• unlike other diseases, it is an attack from our own body cells. From what I was told cancer is mostly not caused by bacteria or viruses of infection and
• current conventional cancer treatment is less than desirable. It is a long haul treatment and can also be very expensive. The conventional treatment (surgery, radiotherapy and chemotherapy) are very invasive treatment. Victims undergoing these treatments suffer a lot during the treatments. The treatment after effects creates future illnesses. It is this point that makes cancer and conventional treatment such a dreaded disease.

So what happens to the victim and family member?


Cancer and more appropriately, conventional cancer treatments impacts on four fronts.

• Physically. Conventional cancer treatments makes the victim feel weak, in constant pain and destroys the body thus making even living a normal life difficult. Chemotherapy and radiotherapy destroys most of the body's good systems and require time for rejuvenate. 
• Financially. Current conventional cancer treatments are expensive. And because it is a long haul treatment, even with Government assistance, it can be expensive. On top of this, most victims will not be able to hold down a job during treatment. So this is a double blow. Victims have to pay treatment fees and cannot earn money. Treatments range from 4 months to 8 months. So victims are in for the long haul. Even after the treatments, victims may still not be able to work.
• Emotionally. It is a very emotional time during therapy. Chemotherapy can be fortnightly or every three weeks. By the time the body builds up enough strength, it will be time for another dose. Radiotherapy is normally a whole month affair, daily basis. The anticipation of what is to come can sometimes be unbearable. After effects of these treatments can even be worst than treatment day. Lots of 'self-awareness' questions like “Why me?”, “Is this all there is to life?”, “Is this it? Has my time come?”, “Why is there so much suffering in treatment”, “Does life all end up in suffering?” Other worries may also crop up especially when there are children involved. So it is a most emotional time for not just the victim but also immediate family members especially the primary care giver – a topic I will cover later.
• Spiritually. Most people I talked to encounters this topic. I definitely had numerous doubts and questions. Questions like “If there is a God, why is he so cruel?”, “I tried to live a righteous life, is this how I am repaid?”, “If everyone lends up like this, why live in the first place?”, “Where is God now?”, “What is the purpose of my life, then?”. These are just a small example of questions that often comes up and unfortunately, answers are not easily forthcoming.

I have gone through this difficult time, to the extend I almost fell into depression. Fortunately for me, I found some acceptable answers along the way.

If you have chosen conventional treatments, then physically you have to will yourself to withstand the onslaught of the treatments. Doctors will monitor your body functions to make sure medically your body can withstand the next treatment. Notice that I say “medically” because financially and more importantly emotionally, you may not want to continue.

Consider yourself lucky if you have some form of insurance coverage. This will remove one worry from your mind. If you have medical insurance, they will cover your hospital treatments. Hopefully, the coverage will be sufficient to cover total expenses. If you have critical illness insurance, then you are also covered for loss of income. This money will help tie you over during treatments. At least, you can get good rest at home to recover and not worry about money for yourself and family. If insurance is not available to you, find out if you qualify for Government assistance. Most countries have some form of such assistance. My advice to young people, please take up some form of insurance now. At least have a medical insurance (personal, not attached to a company) and if you can afford it, you should take up additional insurance for critical illnesses. You really can't imagine the feeling of relief when you encounter something like cancer and you know that financially you are covered in some ways.

Emotional state is a bit more difficult to manage. At the end of the day, you have to realize that it will be you who will have to go through the pain and trauma – no one else can take your place. The earlier you accept this predicament, the easier it is to address your emotional state. Family members and friends plays a significant role in helping to address your emotions. Their presence and helping hand are very important in this trying period. And allow them to help you. Even a simple thing like taking care of grocery shopping or walking the dog or clean up the kitchen all contributes to your healing. Even a simple text message or a simple call can lift up your spirit. The idea is to know that there are people who cares for you and thinks of you. Again, your primary care giver is very important. So important that I am dedicating a whole section to talk about it.

Regardless of your religious inclination, most of us will start to question the faith or lack of faith. I am no different.

I was raised as a Buddhist/Toaist and I do follow their philosophies but I also attended church service without much spiritual attachment. I guess I was trying to understand Christianity. During my third chemo, I started to ask myself “Why me?” “Why is God is so cruel?” type questions. I was already on the verge of depression and then I decided to pick up a book “What is the purpose of life” by Rick Warren. Certain sections of the book help me through 3rd and 4th chemo. I even went to the extend to believing that by accepting Christianity, I will breeze through chemo. Well, I was wrong. It did not get any better, in fact, it got worst. Spiritually, I was piss off and question the effectiveness of Christianity.

I was so wrong. I was limited by my understanding. Then I realised that I was weaken and broken not by the cancer but by man's answer to cancer treatment - chemotherapy and radiotherapy. But still I was not convinced. I was still spiritually broken. I tussled with this topic for a long while until towards the end of my chemo treatment.

I was given a book by a friend sometime back but I never opened it -
"The Shack" by William Young. This book help me understand about GOD. Since then, I started to pray daily and that weekend I went to church. I heard my name called in church during prayer and I was so touched. I also prayed silently to GOD and suddenly I felt a warm feeling rushed over me. Something stirring inside of me and the feeling told me that I was going to be ok.

This was my own experience. But I needed the boaster shot. I needed to be spiritually unbroken. Being in faith help me and made me stronger - perhaps not physically yet but mentally, I was more positive. I developed a belief that I was going to be fine.

What I am trying to say is that with cancer and cancer treatment which basically can destroy you physically and mentally, it is important to hold on to some faith. It will give you the extra ammunition to beat cancer.

I have to say here that this book may or may not agree with you but it has helped me to answer a lot of questions (not all) in my question about God and religion. It has helped me understand my own religious struggles with Buddhism and Christianity.

Go in with an open mind and it may also help you.